Worry.

Worries come to me like words to a poet.

I worry about homeless people. I worry they might get sunburned. I wonder if they would be offended if I gave them sunscreen. Sure, I worry about them starving and freezing, but I try to at the very least worry about things I'm less sure other people are taking care of.

I worry about how I'm going to feel if I discharge a homeless person. I have to discharge them...they can't stay in the hospital forever. Except that part of me wishes they could.

I worry about discharging someone I know won't be compliant. You can only do so much, but at least when they are with you there is much you can do.

I worry about my future grandchildren and the kind of world they stand to inherit. I want to have several children and many grandchildren, but I also feel guilty. There already is not enough to go around. Except, there is, just not everyone gets to have it.

I worry about our country. Having spent some time not feeling the love, and then learning more and loving our country more than I ever did, I get scared because I don't know how things are going to turn out. I don't expect life to be fair, but I don't like enabling the suffering of others. I don't know how to fix the problems we have and that overwhelms me.

I used to stay up at night worrying, but when I adapted a que sera, sera approach I no longer dig worry holes that give me panic palpitations and insomnia, I ponder. I wonder, what can I do? At what point do I have to stop doing and put trust in the larger system? Is doing enough, enough?