Nocturnal

I've been going to bed early lately, and this past weekend I pretended I was living the life of a gainfully employed twenty something and went out. I stayed out past three and I forgot how good it felt. I tend to sleep in either way... so it didn't really make a difference until the exhaustion of Tuesday at 5:55am (I slept in for clinical today by an hour and a half!).

I am nocturnal by nature, I don't function well in the morning....my body aches and I'm exhausted, so I find it hard to work done in the morning. Or the afternoon. Or the evening. My best work comes out between 9pm and 3am and my body rapidly adjusts to staying out late. It took me a year to train myself to go to bed before 10, and in one weekend I've ruined it.

I get this rush of self-made stimulant and my ability to focus turns on late at night. This is perhaps why when I read to fall asleep I stay up until four reading, or when I journal without a template I'll go on forever. It's already 1:30am, and I'm not tired. I got a rush from completing my presentation for tomorrow, along with another group project and then did the dishes and cleaned this kitchen. I would let myself stay up later too, if I knew I wouldn't pay so dearly in the morning. But I will pay. Even sitting here my mind is forming a list of things I could do now so I won't have to do them groggy in the morning when they will take twice as long. This is clearly why I'm a proponent of the concept of getting everything out and together the night before.... but some days I long to be the kind of person who gets all six cylinders running before eight in the morning.

Carpe Diem? Sure, but only after nine pm. I like to seize tomorrow ahead of time.